Albert Pinto ko gussa kyon aata hai?

I remember the craze we had in class 12th to get this ‘slam book’ filled up by the classmates, which was started initially by a set of girls who insisted us (me, mohit, ganja) to write in something in that little printed book. The next day, all 3 of us had our own slam book and we were also following up with others to scribble something in that. I extended it bit far when I made my brother and sister to spend their precious (ya…that’s wat they used to ‘think’ while studying medicine) time to write something in that which I was least bothered to see. But I wanted to get the pages filled up. More than me, there were friends who noticed that my sister had termed me as “short-tempered” in the column ‘describe me’. And this was a surprise to them as I rarely used to be ‘angry’ at anyone. However, I felt perhaps she was right, when it comes to her.

I suspect people come in opposites. Rich, poor. Good, bad. Ugly, beautiful. Happy, miserable. Funny, boring. Articulate, introvert. Those who get easily angered, those who do not. It’s the last pair I am concerned with. And the reason is, as my sister described me, I easily get ‘gussa’. The paradox is that I usually lose my cool over people I am actually expected to keep it. It’s more to do with the expectations level. For example, if someone is being silly, or deliberately provoking me, I can maintain my pose, much longer than others would expect. But if someone close does even a slight act of deviation, my smile starts to fade and then my good temper is a temporary phenomena. Of course, it gets over pretty quickly but it can be equally dramatic. Fortunately, like a hot vessel, I calm down fast. But like a spilled hot water, the damage lasts a lot longer, sometimes.

The fight usually happens at the silliest of things. I recall getting ‘gussa’ over one of my friends few days back. To brief, it went like this. Everytime my friend would promise to call back, the call wld never come. To start with, I was being patient. But the problem is that if you don’t make others realize, the behaviour continues (even though its not deliberate). As an icing on that, even when we were talking, the voice from the other side comes, “ Just hold on for a second”, and those seconds would actually tantamount to half an hour. With three of these ‘little seconds’ in quick succession, the paranoid element in me got the better of me and all patience was lost. No wonder, I decided not to initiate contacting myself and wait for my friend to react. The call did come the next day, but it took two days to patch up.

Of course, fights with others (less significant souls in my life) are not as long lasting and neither do they flare up that quickly. I, however, know that my initial response is usually wrong. But, I am wiser when its too late. Afterwards all I can do is make up by saying sorry first. Sometimes it works but not always. And more often I use it, I shall have to find synonyms for this word so as the sheen of the meaning is not lost.

Few days back, I happened to read this explanation by an American behaviour analyst: “The short-tempered, by which I mean those who are easily but often wrongly aroused to anger, are free of guile and transparent. They lay themselves open to ridicule but they are usually unfairly judged. It’s far better to lose control, as they do, but be honest about it, than maintain a false and deceptive calm only to mislead and deceive.”

I wonder if my family/friends would accept this justification. Or they would reply, “ye koi gussa hone ki baat hi nahi thi, itni chhoti se baat pe bhi koi gussa hota hai? And this logic above is utter crap!!” Perhaps it is. It sounds too good to be true. But, then, Thats Me!!