The Terminator

“Rishtey hi rishtey”, the boards of the marriage bureaus would read loudly. When I first realized the concept of marriage and understood that there is no escape from this institution as well… very much like my school classrooms…I wondered how would I be hooked to a girl. Little elder…and I understood the concept of marriage bureaus, and to my relief. I thought its quite simple to go and get a match for you. But once when I happened to visit a bureau, run by my friend’s father, I saw a little wooden board shouting at me, “Non-returnable.” Not that I went as a customer over there (was still in my school), but the permanency factor involved in this arrangement made me shudder.

Dating agencies have become most normal these days and it’s not much of botheration to find a partner. The most difficult part is to get rid off it. When I was reading that 73% of the marriages end up in sour relationship and 28% of them goes for divorce, I felt there is a strong need for a ‘Separation Agency” as well.

And now I have a ‘breaking’ news for you. Believe it or not…but there is this guy – Bernd Dressler – who runs up the agency which terminates relations!!!!!!!!!!! He is known as the man with the worst job in Germany. “Hello, my name is Bernd Dressler from the separation agency and I have been asked to inform you that she wishes to end your relationship” (an uneasy silence follows…..)

Read his opening line again, and he himself claims its usually ‘she’ among his clients. Most customers (more than 2/3rds) are women in early 20’s, as per Dressler. Well, now you even have stats as a backup to what I always mention….this entire species is not to be trusted. Okay try asking women what they care for more, nice shoes or men? There is no easy answer for them. Loll…its funny to benchmark us to footwear. But, trust me, women can ignore men for sexy shoes. I rest the case. Any takers???

Coming back to Mr. Dressler. Its just a 15 mins job for him (wat can sometimes take an entire lifetime for us to build up!!!). Most of the targets (isn’t this the apt word?) don’t blv at once, and he has to show the contract, which says he has been hired to terminate the relationship. Then there is list of reasons why. Dressler doesn’t accept all the requests. His client needs to have atleast 3 reasons to justify. And just ‘getting on my nerves’ is not a reason. Well… gals must be innovative enough to find out good 3 reasons.

To make it more fancy, he has got various packages. You can chose between “lets just be friends” package to the more severe “leave me alone” package and they can be delivered either through phone, letter or more personalized home service. After sales services…like getting your stuff from ur partner’s place are also provided. From seemingly solid marriages through to quick flings and illicit affairs, a phone call or a knock from Bernd Dressler is guaranteed to kill the romance stone dead.

No complaints to Mr. Dressler. He is just a messenger. People go to dating agencies to find a lover. By helping unhappy couples to split up, he is offering the same kind of service, but in reverse. But what if a guy wanted to call off his relationship with his pregnant girlfriend. We should not underestimate how profound these things can be.

And what about stale friendships and business agreements turned sour?? I am sure I must not have reached the existence of these kinda agencies, and they must be operating in leaps somewhere. With this, I wldnt have to say ‘katti ’myself to my friend (followed by lots of arguments) and could get away by paying few bucks to these people.

Many treat relationships in the same way as an empty Coke can - when it's finished they want to throw it away. But I guess, in love and business, some things just aren't meant to last forever.